A Second Chance

Went for an interview in the morning. Was responding to an ad for full-time studentcare teacher. The centre was situated at Admiralty which was much nearer to my place than the previous one at Ang Mo Kio. Had hoped to stand a better chance of being accepted by the person-in-charge, who is not a female. However, I was just being optimistic. The principal, Mr Quek, explained that though he has nothing against engaging a male teacher, most parents prefer a lady teacher. Thus, it made business sense to please the parents and to avoid having a male caretaker so as to retain his 'customers'. Sensing my disappointment, he made a proposal. Having noticed that I had listed on my application form, upper primary and lower secondary as my preferred level of teaching, he suggested that I be in charge of those levels - as a tutor. It sounded like a good alternative except that it is a part-time post and that I would be paid according to the number of students I have. (As a full-timer, I would be paid a fixed salary regardless of the number of students, which mean I would still receive my pay even if I have no student.)

I didn't give him a straight answer as I realised that while everybody would be looking forward to their end year bonus, I would be looking at nothing, (year end holiday = no class = no pay) on top of running the risk of not having a job for the coming year. He asked me to consider his suggestion and to give him an answer before the year ends. I left the centre in two minds. On one hand, I was glad to be given the chance to teach the levels that I wanted but on the other hand I was wondering I should look for a more permanent and stable job. Come to think of it, I do regret abandoning such a job, not too long ago. I could still remember what my principal, Mr Han, told me when I handed my resignation letter to him. He asked me to reconsider my decision as it would be easy to quit but it would be very difficult to rejoin the profession, especially when there is no shortage of teachers. I guessed I must have been blinded by the prospect of running my own business that I didn't retract my letter. How I wished I had taken his advice but ............ However, I hoped to be given a second chance to rejoin the big family once I have settled my bank loan - debts that I have incurred in the course of my business.

I would most probably take up the Mr Quek's offer but decided to submit my application for the overseas teaching post too, just in case he didn't have enough students to form a class. Hopefully, I don't end up having to choose between the two as I really wouldn't know which would be better for me. In fact, I have developed some kind of a phobia for making such drastic decision.

It's the time of the year when I should be enjoying a 'paid' holiday, just like the other teachers but instead here I am worrying about my next meal. As the saying goes, 'Man proposes but God disposes.' I guess I would have to live with my rash decision, to live by the day and to tackle the problems as and when they appear. Better still if they cannot find me as I'm definitely not going to miss them. There is something that I really miss though. Somethng that I have always enjoyed doing; something that I have been doing for most of my life. Will I have the opportunity to relive that?

~~~ Stay Positive! Stay Happy! ~~~
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